Last night was my last public lecture for the next six months, possibly longer. I’ve decided to reduce this activity to zero because I really do have to knuckle down and get on with some music.
Truthfully, the lack of activity in the studio has been causing much frustration, perhaps more so in the last month than at any other time than in, say, the last ten years, and certainly not since everything went horribly wrong at the Alfa Festival when I essentially put the whole studio into storage for ten months. Giving up on your dreams and ambitions is never easy. Sometimes, you just cannot walk away from your goals. It’s just too difficult.
I’ve been looking forward to this event for some weeks. Secretly, I told myself that this would be the last lecture at the start of the month, following our adventures up at Kielder Castle though it wasn’t until last night that I publicly announced that I wasn’t doing any more talks for at least six months that I finally felt free.
And, yes, there was a real, tangible sense of relief that this experiment was now over, certainly for the time being. I still feel it now and I know, with an unusual degree of certainty, that it really was time to step back and take a breather.
I’ll still do the radio slot, if they’ll have me, and I’ll probably be attending the BUFORA conference in Newcastle in July so I won’t disappear completely, but my focus will shift back towards the music, where I feel happiest, where I feel most comfortable.
- April 1
- , 2011
